Contradiction: A How I'm Feeling Post

Recently I purchased the book 'Do What You Are' by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron and it's got me quietly having an identity crisis.  The book is basically a career guide based on the Myers-Briggs personality types.

About five years ago, I was working as a team leader in a call center and in one of our training classes, we took the Myers-Briggs.  My result was: INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging).  The description of that type was/is spot on.  So over the years, whenever I come across anything Myers-Briggs related I'd take a peek at the INFJ section.  Now last night, when I started reading the book, I thought, "It's been a while, lemme find an online assessment and retest myself."  I did two and both came out INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving).  After reading both chapters in the book, INFJ & INFP, I saw that they both describe me...  Um... whaaat??  I mentioned this on my social media asking if I can be a blend of both types, and one of my friends said yes.

Now, that got me thinking.

In high school, I took the left brain/ right brain assessment.  When I finished and we went over the results, I was the only person in the class split evenly down the middle.  Of course I thought I had done something wrong, but my teacher said there are people that are "both" brained.  They are evenly as likely to be "logical" or "artistic". 

When I started college, we took the four temperaments test.  That test told me I was Melancholic/Sanguine.  Which by the administrator's description was sad/happy or even (serious, introverted, moody, susceptible to depression)/(lively, social, carefree, artistic).  At least that time I wasn't the only blended one.  There was another girl and we still call each other sisters to this day :)

Then last night after retaking the Myers-Briggs, I came across the "Top Brain Bottom Brain"assessment (which I'd never heard of before).  Of course I took it :) I felt like that one was more fair because I didn't know what characteristics the top and bottom carried.  My results:  Tendency not to rely on Top/Tendency not to rely on Bottom... seriously?!

So yeah... all this personality hubub has given me a realization.

I am a walking contradiction... but I don't think that's a bad thing.

There are a lot of times when I feel a distinct duality in my thought process or patterns.  When I can make perfectly sensible arguments for both sides of a situation.  This became a huge problem when I was depressed because I would reason myself to a standstill and end up doing nothing.  I remember feeling like there were literally two Caleishas.  Which sounds quite weird, but it was real.  It's good to know that it's OK that I'm not specifically one thing.  My mind contradicts itself.  My personality/temperaments ebb and flow between extremes.  I go from introverted feeling to extroverted feeling...  I'm allowed to be lively and moody.

I think if I can learn how to cultivate both extremes of my personality, I will be better able to find a place to belong.  I'll feel more grounded and less off balance.  And with my 30th birthday right around the corner, this is the best time to be mindfully addressing this.

Websites I visited
The Personality Page
Myers-Briggs Test
Another Myers-Briggs Test 
INFJ Personality Type Info
INFP Personality Type Info
About the Four Temperaments
The Four Temperaments Test
Top Brain Bottom Brain
Top Brain Bottom Brain Test

My Natural Hair

So today I'm going to do something that I don't normally do :) and that is talk to you about my hair!

I have been "loose natural" for about 3 years and change now, and before that I had locs for about 4 years... I think... honestly, I lose track.  Anywho, my hair mostly falls into two of the hair typing categories- 4B & 4C.  This pretty much means my head has strands that are super kinky with no discernible curl pattern and some that do have a curl pattern.  The individual strands are thick and densely packed together... Umm... my particular hair texture is one that cannot abide a 'wash-n-go' because it is quick to tangle and prone to massive shrinkage.

Recently (as you may know), I moved from Huntsville, AL to Orlando, FL.  The biggest new thing hairwise is the humidity!  Oh. My. Word!!!!!  Pretty much, on really humid days, I can count on my hair poofing up a couple of inches.  Hello Frizzball!

Speaking of my new friend humidity, I blow dried my hair this past weekend just to try something different.  I was sweating like a pig in the bathroom with the blow dryer on high just to knock some of the kink out of my strands.  When I finished, I felt all fancy and whatnot as Lamar & I left to have lunch at his parents' house.  This was me in the car:

nevermind the stank look on my face... I don't know what that's about lol

We were not in the car for more than 10 minutes when the sky burst forth in MAJOR rain! I mean pull over cuz you can't see rain...  Monsoon rain... Ugh. My life is hard.  Here's the hair post rain and I didn't even get it wet!  This was just from all the moisture in the air!

This stank face here is for Mother Nature!

Whyyyy Mother Nature!?!?!?!?! Why must you persecute meeeee!?!?!?!

The next style was a bantu-knot out. So I had one day of curls until the humidity swooped in again and smashed that hairstyle.

Fluffy fluffy curly hair ^.^

I dont even have a picture of my hair the day after my curly day... just imagine a big afro with curly bits. Not too too bad, but it was BIG and kept me too hot at work.

As my next styling attempt on the blown out hair, I twisted it down.  The best thing about this is that I can actually SEE the length of my hair.  That's a big thing because anyone with 4b/c hair will tell you that it shrinks.  My straightened hair comes down to around the bottom of my shoulder blade length, but if I dunk my head in water and let it dry, that same hair will shrink up into a tight afro about 5-6 inches long.  Kind of amazing come to think of it...

So, that was fun. Taking all this time to talk about my hair.  I thought it would be something different and unique to share. Or maybe I just wanted to show you something that isnt made of yarn ^.^ lol!

I hope you're having a great day! Peace!

Leibster Award!

Well would you look at this :-)

I was tagged by Elle of My Dearest Friend for the Leibster Blog Award last week. ^.^ Huzzah!  This award is geared towards introducing you to other bloggers who have less than 200 followers.  I have to tag 11 bloggers, share 11 facts about myself, and then answer the 11 questions given by the person who tagged me.  So here we go :-)

Welp, it looks like I only have 6 people that fit the Leibster requirements... *shrug* That just means, if you're reading this and want to participate, I tag you too ^.^

1. Alina @ Pin Prik'd & Hook'd
2. Shakti @ ShaktiDove
3. Jesse @ Well It's Okay
4. Nicole @ Nicole Marie
5. Jessica @ Sew in Love
6. Tiff Ima @ Style Honestly

11 Things About Caleisha

1. One of my favorite holidays is St. Patrick's Day for completely gushy, cheesy, lovey-dovey reasons :~)
2. I love photography, but have been really slacking on making time to do it.  Shooting film is my favorite.
3. My favorite shows to watch on Netflix are Bones, Heroes, and Warehouse 13... if only they'd update with the next season of Warehouse 13, I'd be so happy.  (Come on Netflix!)
4. I like sleeping and so do my dogs.
5. My dogs are Kiva (beagle/jack russell) and Toot (chihuahua/rat terrier).  They are serious about their relaxation time. Kiva likes to lounge in the sun and Toot has made a "cave of wonders" under my bed.
6. My booski (yep, I did that) and I have a special text smiley.  It looks like this :~) It's for nose kisses. Once I had to fax him something at work and I put the smiley at the bottom of the page as a secret message to him. 
7. My birthday is Feb 24 and so is my Mom's.  AND we were both born on Monday.
8. I've had two knee surgeries, but never got crutches... They gave me an immobilizer and I had to "walk it off" lol.
9. I love shopping in thrift stores. It actually give me great joy to realize that my whole outfit (save underclothes/socks/tights) is likely thrifted.  I strangely feel at peace in thrift stores... I'm most likely a shopaholic, but I justify it by knowing the sale days.
10. Once a friend and I drove to Birmingham for a poetry show on just enough gas to get there.  So we had to sell poetry books to make enough money to get us home.  It was a great night!
11. I am very much in to DIY, handmade, homemade things.  I crochet, sew, refashion clothes, & knit a bit... I have been known to refinish furniture and reupholster chairs.  

 11 Questions from my Tag-er Elle (My Dearest Friend)

1. Name one of your obsessions.
   I'm obsessed with... buying yarn and fabric.  I literally have to avoid that section of the store & if I do venture there I have to seriously ask myself 'Caleisha are you REALLY going to use this yarn in the next few weeks?'  She almost always says "Of course I am! And I dont have this color or this fiber! We NEEEEED to BUYYYYY it!" And drops 3 balls in the basket... *shame face*
2. Cats or Dogs
   Dogs.
3. What was the most life changing moment in your life?
   Umm... I didn't know it at the time, but it would have to be my first date with Lamar.
4. Most recent epic fail, haha.
   My last show poetry performance.  I was really anxious about the piece and had a panic attack in the middle of it. :(
5. One thing you still don’t understand about anything.
   Why we need imaginary numbers. WHY?
6. The last great book you read.
   Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
7. 5 things you couldn’t live without.
   Family/friends, Lamar, my dogs, something crafty, sunshine
8. Most recent RAK (Random Act of Kindness) both given and received.
   Oohh... umm... I gave a student a ride to his dorm one day and I can't think of anything for received right now.
9. Top 5 songs that describe who you were in high school.
   heh get ready for the teenage angst... Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink, Unpretty by TLC, F*cking Perfect by Pink, Broadway by Goo Goo Dolls, Family Portrait by Pink... Are you seeing the trend here... pretty much anything by Pink circa 2000-2001.
10. Top 5 songs that describe who you are right now.
    Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat, Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, You and I by Ingrid Michaelson, Everything's Okay by Lenka, Feeling Good by Michael Buble'
11. What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
    Honestly, I don't think I've really done anything "crazy" yet... maybe my big chop in college... I cut all my hair off. It was like a centimeter long... I was nervous that I'd look like a boy.  Which was a bit true, because I got the "are you a boy or a girl" question all summer from the kids at the boys and girls club where I worked.

 11 Questions for my Tag-ees

1. What was the first blog you really got into reading?
2. If you could do anything as a career what would it be?  Your bills are already paid.
3. What was the last spontaneous thing you did?
4. If you walked into a room right now, what song would play?
5. What is your guilty pleasure?
6. What book has been influential in your life? Why?
7. How did you choose your blog title?
8. Do you thrift? If so, what was your most awesome thrift store find?
9. Where are you most at peace?
10. Give us a piece of advice about anything?
11. Where would you love to live?

 
So that's it! Sheesh that was long!!! Check out the ladies I've tagged.  Hopefully, we can meet some new bloggers and make some new friends through this Leibster thing :-) Have a great Thursday!