So it seems that I have managed to stumble myself right into quite the down day... :( Although it wasn't really a surprise since I've been feeling a bit... murky... for the last few days, it still sucks. I'm having a time with my anxiety as well, AND I am suppose to be doing a digital interview for a customer service job today. Whoop-De-Flipping-Do...
I honestly feel like I might burst into tears in the middle of one of the interview questions... *sigh* but what can you do? I was sitting in the bed this morning trying to snap myself out of my funk with a little instagram and a bit of youtube, but it didnt work. It only led my mind to wander aimlessly, which ended up with thoughts of how useless I am and wondering if wanting to be happy at work is selfish. I dont know. The most frustrating part about days like this is that I cannot pinpoint
a specific thing that sent me down. Normally, I can have a bit of self
talk and work out what's bothering me and figure some way to remedy it,
but no matter how much self talk I did/do I'm still stuck.
How am I feeling right now? I'm feeling like an island engulfed by fog... I'm feeling very um... alone. I feel like I'm all by myself in this day. I know that down days always pass, but that knowledge does little to lessen the fierceness of the day itself. I know I need to pull it together to do this interview. I know I cannot collapse. I know falling apart isn't an option. But it gets hard. Pulling yourself up by broken bootstraps is hard. I just want to hide in the corner.