Monday, December 8, 2014

Bootstraps: A How I'm Feeling Post

So it seems that I have managed to stumble myself right into quite the down day... :(  Although it wasn't really a surprise since I've been feeling a bit... murky... for the last few days, it still sucks.  I'm having a time with my anxiety as well, AND I am suppose to be doing a digital interview for a customer service job today.  Whoop-De-Flipping-Do...

I honestly feel like I might burst into tears in the middle of one of the interview questions... *sigh* but what can you do?  I was sitting in the bed this morning trying to snap myself out of my funk with a little instagram and a bit of youtube, but it didnt work.  It only led my mind to wander aimlessly, which ended up with thoughts of how useless I am and wondering if wanting to be happy at work is selfish.  I dont know.  The most frustrating part about days like this is that I cannot pinpoint a specific thing that sent me down.  Normally, I can have a bit of self talk and work out what's bothering me and figure some way to remedy it, but no matter how much self talk I did/do I'm still stuck.

How am I feeling right now?  I'm feeling like an island engulfed by fog...  I'm feeling very um... alone.  I feel like I'm all by myself in this day.  I know that down days always pass, but that knowledge does little to lessen the fierceness of the day itself.  I know I need to pull it together to do this interview.  I know I cannot collapse.  I know falling apart isn't an option.  But it gets hard.  Pulling yourself up by broken bootstraps is hard.  I just want to hide in the corner.

1 comment:

  1. Your awareness of your feelings amazes me and I think that is what empowers you. There are others who need to be taught how to do what you do, seriously.


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