Anywho, I have been thinking about what to write for this anniversary post all week. I thought maybe I'll do a list of songs that remind me of Lamar or another questionnaire. Or maybe I'll just show photos from the day. After quite a bit of thinking, I've decided to write about a girl we saw at the park.
She was in line in front of me on two rides and I noticed her tattoos. The first was a constellation and the other was a semicolon.
Then I noticed her scars."A semicolon is used when the author could've ended a sentence, but chose not to. You are the author and the sentence is your life." [click -here- for more info about Project Semicolon]
Seeing this girl made me reflect on my own mental health struggles and triumphs. It also made me think about how blessed I am to have someone as caring and compassionate as Lamar. In our years together, he has always tried to understand what I'm feeling when my moods swing. He always asks questions to prompt me to try and explain what anxiety feels like... what the downswings feel like. He will even drag me out of the bed if need be, lol.
Seeing her made me remember my scars. My burns. My dark days. My promise to keep up the fight.
Seeing her with her boyfriend made me think about how we are not islands. We are not ever truly alone in whatever our individual struggles are. We are never too broken to be loved. There are times I think back to the poem I was reciting right before Lamar proposed and I remember the very real worries I had and sometimes still have, "Will you still love me depressed? Will you throw me a life line? Will you count out reasons to smile? Will you remind me of the good in life? Will you still love me?" And every time these worries come up, I see his goofy smile or something that reassures me...
Of course, I will. What kind of a silly question is that?!
I love you Lamar. Thank you for being my buoy when the waters get rough. :~)