What I Want in Life... According to Facebook

This morning I was scrolling down my Facebook timeline, as you do, and I came across this crossword.  The title said the first three words you find are what you want in life.  I glanced around it and saw these words: time, happiness, friends.

Of course that got me thinking about what I actually want in life.  And I'd say those three words are pretty accurate.

Time:
A long time ago, I was complaining to my dad about not having enough time to do something.  He said, "It's not that you don't have the time, you didn't TAKE the time."  So I want to Take time for specific things.  Time for working.  Time to learn new things.  Time to enjoy hobbies.  Time to build relationships.  Time to observe.  Time to reflect.  Time to have fun with Lamar.  Time to visit family and friends.   Time appreciate this life I have.

Happiness:
I think happiness is one of the most simple things we want from life.  I want to be happy at home and at work.  I want my happiness to be spilled out onto others.  I want my family to be happy.  And even when I have down days or weeks or whatever, I want to always remember that happiness is not something that just happens- it has to be consciously cultivated.  So as long as I have it somewhere in my mind to be happy, then it will come.

Friends:
Friends and Family relationships are very important to me. Even though I'm rather introverted in social settings, I cling wholeheartedly to the people I consider to be friends.  These are the people who I share common ground with, they accept me and my quirks, and we spend time together doing whatever.  Some of these friends have seen me at my lowest and stuck by me.  They encouraged me and helped me get through particularly dark times.  I'm very blessed to be able to say I have such awesome friends.  (Hugs and love to all you guys!)

Don't you love when a random thing on Facebook causes you to really think about life? ^.^ What were your 3 words?

30 Before 30

A couple days before my birthday I decided that I wanted to make a "30 things I want to do before I turn 30"  list.  The idea has come to mind a few times in the past, but I never made any kind of bucket-ish list.  I figured that the last year of my 20s should be spent doing ^.^  I mean I could develop some good habits, improve some skills, discover a new passion, and make a ton of memories.  Who knows! So I sat down and jotted out this list.  I will admit that it didn't all come to me easily - I had to do some googling and read some other people's lists for inspiration, but after a couple days I was done.  I've also broken the list down into categories.  And here it is ^.^

 
                           Mental, Physical, Spiritual Health

• Read the Bible
  I plan to read the Bible and record my favorite texts or passages from each book.  This may overlap my birthday, but that's ok because this is something that I really need to do.
• Finish 20 books
  Last year, I set a goal to finish 15 books.  I finished up with 18.  I think that sets me up well for this year.
• Yoga-cise regularly
  I'm sadly out of shape... not overweight or anything, but I get winded running up the steps.  I want to build healthy habits so that whenever Lamar and I have kids, I'll be able to pass those habits on to them.
• Volunteer at an animal shelter
  When I lived in Huntsville, I would go to the animal shelter and just visit with the dogs.  It makes me feel good to kind of give back to the dogs less fortunate than Kiva & Tootie :)
• Do a split
  I have always wanted to be able to do a split.  That's about it to this one.

                           Craft-Blog-DIY

• Etsy for real
  I started my Etsy shop, The Light Crochet, within the last year and I definitely dropped it by the wayside.  So I want to get back to it and actually make and list pieces.  Wish me luck!
• Finish the quilt
  I started a proper patchwork quilt back in June 2012 and it's still not finished.  ::shameface::
• Crochet a sweater, a church shawl, and a top
  Most of my crochet projects are things like blankets, accessories, hats, and whatnot. So I want to learn to make other more usable things and try my hand at making clothing.
• Reupholster/Refinish a piece of furniture
  Lamar and I love watching the show "Flea Market Flip" and we're always saying how we could do a lot of the refinishing they do.  I'm planning to stop talking about it and be about it. Yep. Bringing out the power tools!
• Organize a yarn bombing
  I think I'm gonna plan on doing something for International Yarn Bomb day in June.  Or maybe I'll participate in another Sheepish Yarn Bomb or a Love bomb or something along those lines.
• Make a few Youtube videos
  This is another of those things I talk about doing, but I haven't done because I don't think I'm interesting enough.  So I'm going to record some of these goals as I go along.  That way my family and friends can follow along with me.  I think that's a good reason to make videos.  Plus watching old videos is fun.
• View an exhibit at the Orlando Museum of Art
  I want to go just because I've never been.  When I was in college, students could go to the Huntsville Art Museum every Friday for like $5 and I never went.  That's four years of Fridays! I totally wasted those opportunities.
  
• Blog regularly
  Writing is a lot of fun for me and I really enjoyed when I was blogging more consistently.  Plus the more you write the better you become at it.

                           Photography

• Photograph 3 historical downtown areas
  I want to explore/photograph areas like Mt. Dora, Longwood, and Orlando.
• Complete 3-6 photo shoots
  This one is pretty much self-explanatory.
• Complete 3-6 photo stories
  I'm defining a 'photo story' as a group of pictures that tell a story in a journalistic way.
• Build print and online portfolios
  This absolutely MUST be done.  More of my friends and church members are asking me about photography and it will be awesome to be able to show them an updated portfolio of my work.

                           Suzie Homemaker Skills

• Make sushi & French macarons
  This is here because I love treating myself to these two things every so often and when I do I always think that I should just make them at home.  I know macarons have the reputation of being super difficult, but I really think I'll be able to make them.
• Plant an herb garden
  I know I want mint, rosemary, and basil to start. In my mind I have a long window box with my herbs growing in the kitchen window of Lamar and my future home. :)
• Eat and Eat Better
  I always forget to eat when I'm out and about.  I spend too much money on fast food when I'm completely capable of making food at home and carrying it to work with me.  Plus, this is another good habit to pass on to our kids.
• Make and keep a cleaning schedule
  Must. Regularly. Clean.  A clean home/space definitely helps me feel more positive and clear mentally.
  

                           Make Memories with Lamar

• Learn to play Bless the Broken Road on guitar
  This is the song I walked down the aisle to.  It would be awesome to be able to play and sing it to Lamar *.*  (yeah... just marinate in that cuteness!)
• Hike Wekiwa Springs
  Lamar and I use to go hiking on Monte Sano in Huntsville and we havent done anything like that since being in Florida.  I also hear that Wekiwa Springs state park is just great by itself.
• Go zip-lining
  I'm sure I'll be scared, but it'll be fun.  Lamar and I accidentally discovered a zip-lining place at the Sanford Zoo... I think it was Sanford.
• Do the paddleboats at Lake Eola
  Another cutesy thing I want to do with mah boo ^.^
• Go to Rebounderz
  Rebounderz is a place that has trampolines on the floors and walls.  They also have basketball hoops.  I want to take pictures of Lamar dunking.  Those photos will be EPIC!
  
• Go to CityArts Factory for a comedy
  I found this place on a list of free things to do in Orlando.  We dubbed Wednesday nights as date night and I'd like to start doing more new/out of the box things together.
  
• Write songs for our future kids
  Lamar has been asking me to write a song with him for a reeeally long time, and I think it would be awesome if we had a specially lullaby to sing to our kids.  I also want to write a good morning song and a soothing song. 
• Visit and review 6 hole-in-the-wall restaurants
  This is another of Lamar's ideas and another thing we talk about doing but have yet to do.  Being that he's such a foodie and whenever we go out to eat we end up sounding like the judges table on Chopped, this should be a fun activity.

                           Because... Why Not?

• Learn to juggle
  Yes.  I will juggle.  Then I will go to the studio and get my picture taken while juggling.  That will be awesome!

And that's my list!  I've already spent a week doing nothing on said list, so I'm gonna go now and watch a video on juggling ^.^

Gallivanting Files: Diverse Word Poetry Slam

Hi there :)

Tuesday night I did something I haven't done in QUITE some time.  I went to a poetry slam with my roommate and one of her friends :)

Now I must say it started off slow and a bit... meh... but then it picked up and the poets were really awesome.  I kept feeling myself getting giddy and wanting to get up and perform something.  My mind kept flashing back to the days when I was a regular fixture on any available poetry stage.  I always participated in cyphers and could be found writing poem after poem in notebooks, on class notes, my hands, anything.  Poetry was such a huge part of my life, but for some reason a few years after graduating college, I just stopped.

You know when you were really known for something when years and years later people are still asking "Do you still write?" or saying "You should start writing again." 

The clencher for the whole evening for me was the last poet.  He was like 20 years old which made me remember being his age and totally submerged in poetry.  I could see how much his poems moved through him and how he got into them.  I miss that.  His last poem was about using your talents even when you don't feel like it.  It was along the lines of use it before you lose it.  I totally felt like he was preaching directly to me... Needless to say, I want get back into writing again.  I miss having that passion/outlet in my life.

Soo... don't be confused if I start posting random poems on here, K ^.^

What are you afraid of?

Recently I stumbled across this youtuber/blogger named Maya. Her channel is Shameless Maya and you should definitely check her out (YOUTUBE // BLOG).  Anyway, she started the youtube channel as an experiment to find out what would happen if she shameless promoted herself and art for a full year.  I've probably watched like 15 of her videos, and throughout the challenge it's interesting to see how she's become more confident in herself and more... fearless.  

A lot of her videos are very inspiring and uplifting and make you want to DO things.  In one she asked her mom for any wise words for her viewers. Her mom said, "Do what you love and love what you do."  I've heard that statement soo many times and always think, "yeah that's a nice sentiment... you should do what you love... that would make life so much better. Duh..."  But I never really embrace it even though now I am working a job where I love what I do and have so much fun doing it. I just feel like there's more I could be doing. 

Honestly, I think that 'more' has to do with the crochet work/designing I do.  I really do love... yarn... I feel like that makes me SUCH a granny for saying that, haha.  Anyway, I love sitting in front of the computer watching youtube videos and crocheting flowers or granny squares or just working on different ideas and seeing how they flesh out. So... I've been toying with the idea of starting an Etsy shop for probably two years now.  I kept saying things like: I'm gonna start it when I get stock built up, or I don't have the perfect name for it yet, or I'm moving so I can't start it now.

There was always a reason why I couldn't or wouldn't do it. 

Yesterday I watched one of her videos about fear.  What is fear? (click for VIDEO) What do you do when there's something you're afraid of doing...  It kinda lingered in my mind and today I woke up and thought what are you afraid of? What have you got to lose by starting this Etsy shop? Of course the same list of excuses started flooding into my head. 

No stock
No name

So I started thinking about the first name I was going to use: Epiphaneia.  But as much as I like the idea of it (Greek root of epiphany) it's rather hard to spell.  This led to me brainstorming that idea. 
Call it Aha Moment Crochet! Nope stupid...
Ok.  Call it Lightbulb... nah girl
Well, how about calling it The Light.  The Light Crochet. 

When I said that, it reminded me of a poem by my friend Afreevoice called The Light. It's one of my favorite poems of his, particularly when he says,

I spit flames and wait for the echo...
Then step to the side
To get out of my own way.

That's what I thought about when I said I should name this shop The Light.  I should start it, name it The Light, and get out of my own way.

Get. Out. Of. My. Own. Way.

There are soo many things in my life that I don't do or that I've been afraid to do simply because I am standing in my own way.  I know I can do them. I know that I have the skill and ideas and creativity, but I'm standing in my way. I'm blocking myself from experiencing whatever may happen by me doing whatever it is I feel in my heart I should be doing.  (That sentence was almost confusing ^.^)

All that being said, what am I afraid of?

I'm afraid of failure.
I'm afraid that I'm going to start this shop, make product, photograph them, put them up for sale and no one's going to buy them. 
I'm afraid that I'm coming into it too late.
I'm afraid that the people that know me won't want to support me.

I'm afraid of all these things, but my fear reactions for too long have been flight or freeze. I either run away from the thing that scares me or freeze and do nothing.  My reaction has never been to fight and I think that's what really needs to change.  It's fine to be afraid of something.  It's fine to have that bit stress or anxiety, but it's your reaction to it that really makes the difference.

Another poet, Marty McConnell, said in one of her pieces,

"Raging fear of where you're headed is the sure sign you're traveling in the right direction."  

So I suppose being afraid of starting and failing should make me want to start. If I fail, and it crashes and burns completely I'll be able to say I did it ^.^  Then one day, I can tell my daughter that it doesn't matter what happens, if you have a desire or an idea or something you should do it and not worry so much about what happens if you fail or no one else likes it.  Do it for you.  I'll probably say something like, "Yeah punkin, your mom wanted to start a shop and sell crochet blankets.  I did and win or lose, I'm happy."

So I started my etsy shop. 

The Light Crochet

Let the adventure begin!

See You Later February

Wow... I can hardly believe that February is over!  This has been an event filled month for me to say the least, and it doesn't look like it'll be slowing down any time soon.  Not sure how I feel about that honestly.

As of today, I have 9 days left on my lease >.<  Last night, Lamar and I were talking about the logistics of him getting up here, where to rent the truck, when to pack the truck, and all that jazz.  It's been stressful. Sorting through all my belongings and determining what to give away, throw away, and keep.  I have 3 bags of clothes to donate and I'm planning cut my yarn/fabric stash in half.  I've told my local crafty friends to come and "shop my stash."  I'm selling furniture on Craigslist and giving pieces away. (One of the members of my poetry club told me his roommate needs a bed and was totally surprised when I said I'd give him mine. I remember that college kid struggle, I will gift where I can lol.)  I'm stalking wal-mart near midnight to pick up boxes.  But even with all that I'm doing, I feel like nothing is getting done.  Maybe it'll be better when I get all this furniture out.  I need to see my room clearing out.

Blurry photo of my box stack...

Enough of moving talk.

I feel like I should write a list of March goals... I never did share my 2013 goals with you guys, forgetful me.  Well, let me share them now.  The original list had 12 goals... as you can see it's grown :) Now, it's bloomed to 20 goals & is chock full of potential good habits.  I think I'm going to go 'The Happiness Project' way about keeping these and make a chart/calendar type thing... just to keep it visible.


*Self*
-Make a budget & stick to it
-Read at least 15 books
-Volunteer at an animal shelter
-Deliberately style my hair at least once a month
-Walk the dogs twice a week

*Work*
-Find a job where I fit
-Make "work friends" that I'd actually hang out with

*Church*
-Get involved in some way
-Help Lamar with BridgeMinistries

*Home*
-Get comfortable cooking food & not just baking
-Clean the house every week
-Sweep/Vacuum 3 times a week

*Creative*
-Start my online shop
-Crochet & Knit a pair of socks
-Find a crafting group to attend
-Create an online photography portfolio

*Blog*
-Redesign Apt-203 & start the FB fan page
-Introduce more DSLR photography on Apt-203 & less camera phone-age
-Always carry a camera to take daily life photos
-Expand my reach & meet new bloggers

That's all for now. Wish me stamina in this packing game and focus with incorporating my goals!

via: We Heart It