WIP Wednesday: Depression and Creation

If you read any of my last few posts, you'd know that I've been frittering about on the lower end of my emotional spectrum.  No fun.  Luckily it hasn't been a solid block of cloudy depression, but rather partially cloudy where I can still see the blue sky between.  Color me counting my blessings.

Anywho, I had a thought today about my brain and depression.  The first time I was seriously down logic became so clear.  I mean, I could look at a sudoku puzzle, regardless of difficulty, and the numbers would fall into place.  It was so odd that I remember my friends thinking I'd come up with some way of cheating the game.  It was the one thing that always made sense at a time where I had to remind myself what color the sky was and make sure the ribbon hiding the burns on my wrist was tied tightly.

Recently, my mind has been processing creatively much faster.  It's almost like the longer I stay down, the clearer designs become and the more I make.  For instance, I've been wanting to make a top-down ribbed hat where the ribbing actually starts in the crown of the hat.  The problem with that was, I couldn't figure out the mechanics or the count to make sure the ribs were evenly spaced.  That was until today.  The solution came like eyesignt upon waking. You know, foggy at first but then perfectly clear...

So I was thinking about the apparent link between depression and creation.  I don't know what the deal is with depression and clarity or selective clarity, but I am grateful that even when I feel crumbly and trampled emotionally, the melancholy still has a silver lining.  Does anyone else feel this way or find that depression can give way to awesome creations? Why is that? Can the creation be separated from the depression? Or are we artists really fated to juggle two...  Let me know what you think if you like.

Progress shot I shared on instagram <@nadiratani>

Anywho, you can't really see the ribbing because of the variegated yarn, but once I get it finished I'm going to recreate it with a solid color so you can fully experience the amazing-ness. :)


~Peace

Wedding Spot: DIY Save the Date Magnets

Hey there :) 

Happy Sunday! I hope you all enjoyed the time change.  I def woke up in a panic at what I thought was 9 o'clock this morning. Not.Pleasant.  Anywho, onward!

From the beginning, I knew that I wanted to have various  DIY touches in our wedding.  One of the "easiest" places to do a lil DIYing is with the save the dates.  A couple of months ago, Lamar and I had engagement pictures done at JCP that I spent hours pre-planning the session, picking outfits, doing hair, and making props.  I'm glad to say that I'm super happy with how they turned out.  I knew I wanted to use some of the photos as our save the dates and Lamar suggested we make them into magnets.  (He so smaaht!) Then the search for the least expensive way to make that idea a reality began.

I browsed many a 'create your own magnet' website, but was routinely let down by prices over $100.  So I sadly scrapped the idea of having them printed as magnets & started fleshing out how to print them as regular photos and somehow make them magnets myself.

First thought: Magnetic tape on the back... too cheap looking...
Second thought: Adhesive magnetic paper... WAY too expensive...
Third thought: Magnetic printer paper and rubber cement... Jackpot!

So with my idea having an actual plan, I looked for coupons for printing the 4x6s and found one for $0.10 each at Walgreens & purchased a small pack of magnetic paper from Staples. 

It took a little research to figure out how t do a permanent pond with rubber cement, but once I got it down,  I whipped up magnets using all the paper I had.  Seeing how awesomely the test magnets came out gave me confidence to go ahead & get the bulk amount of magnetic paper.  I told Lamar about my magnetic paper search and he was able to find cheap rolls of magnetic paper sheet.  o.O Why I couldn't find it? I'll never know.  So in the coming weeks there will be lots of rubber cementing and cutting at my house! 

I am really glad I decided to go the DIY route rather than choosing a ready-made design from a website.  I think they will make my family and friends smile since they all know I'm rather crafty :)  In total, all supplies considered, our save the date magnets cost us less than $0.60 each.  Pretty cool right!  It's very gratifying to be able to say "I made that!"

Our two designs :)

Anywho, have a good night.  I'm gonna go pass out as my body feels like its past 11pm. 

(I'll post the actual DIY steps later on this week.)

Finally I'm Finished #3: Making Ear Warmers

"I don’t make things because I need them. I can buy hats and socks and things to fill my frames. I need the making, and I end up with things." ~ Amanda of On the Craft

This quote pretty much sums up my recent craftings.  I've made 4 ear warmers this week... well technically 5 but I frogged and reworked one.  It's so calming to sit with my hook and yarn. Just wrapping and pulling and feeling the fiber move through my hands.

I use to hate frogging out things, but I don't mind so much anymore. Especially if I'm not working from a pattern.  It's almost like starting with a general idea and letting the yarn fill in the details.  So with that said, on to some pictures.

Basket weave turban style ear warmer

Offset single rib turban style ear warmer

T-shirt yarn turban style headband

Brick stitch turban style ear warmer

All four finished bands

Close up of textures

Gee... I'm seeing a color pattern here...  The brick stitch is the most cozy one. I think it'll be the only one recreated for my shop.  I think it was the chunky yarn that works for me.  The t-shirt yarn band was a fail.  It looks cute, but provides no actual warmth and the t-shirt bits come off in your hair.  No fun.  The other two are nice, but not warm enough to really call proper 'ear warmers'.  They'd be better suited as fashion over function accessories.  Good to know.

I hope your week went well. I'm feeling a lot better than yesterday.  Today was a quiet stay at home day listening to pandora.  I got a couple messages from loving friends/family via blog comment, facebook, & text messages and I really appreciate them.

Have a good weekend!

Thankfulness: This Day is Done

Today I wanted to do a few specific things that I knew I shouldn't do like sedate myself with benadryl, burn my wrist, close my eyes while driving.  It's just kinda been one of those days, you know?  One of the kind where you want to get back in bed, close your eyes, roll around a couple times, and then get out... on the right side of bed.  But you can't because real life doesn't work that way.  And the reality of this day is, I was down.  Down days come and down days go, but you just gotta muscle thru them.

I think the worst part of today and my recent downswing has been that I've put so much guilt on myself.  Saying things like,

"Oh Caleisha, you don't have a right to feel down or sad because nothing has happened to you.  You have close friends who have lost family members in the last week. What have you lost? Nothing. You haven't even lost a ball of yarn. You have a job. You enjoy your job. You have a loving fiance. You have a loving family. You have your health.
You don't have the right to feel down and depressed."  

This is my self talk in my head.  And that's not good. That's just like someone telling you, "Oh you're having a down day? You're feeling depressed? Just stop feeling depressed.  There are worse things in the world."

That doesn't really help. That's not constructive. I know there are worse things in the world, but right now in my head, I can't help but feel this way.  If there was some switch I could flip and feel better, I totally would.  Being down SUCKS... I don't want to wallow in it. I'm not choosing to feel this way.  It's just out of my control and that's how my life is sometimes.

I think that what makes depression hard is that everyone doesn't understand it.  I mean, you can say to somebody I'm crying because I stubbed my toe and they understand that pain.  Or I'm sad because I miss my family.  People get that.  But with depression or depressed feelings there's not necessarily a reason.

I just am... and people don't understand 'I just am.' 

People want to know what happened or why you're sad.  It's like they want to be able to concretly place you on a graph of emotions and reactions so they can understand the headspace you're in.  But 'I just am' doesn't plot well on this coordinate plane of existence... it really doesnt...

So I end up just lying for the most part... "I'm fine." But I know, and the person I'm talking to knows that I'm not, but I'm going to continue doing my job even if I feel like drugging myself or hiding in the bathroom and crying.  Being a grown up doesn't really leave room for many breakdowns. 

It's just been a rough day.  But at the end of this day, I'm thankful that I have a boss that sympathizes with my ups and downs.  I'm thankful that I got thru the day with no panic attacks or serious anxiety issues.  I'm thankful that my last 2 appointments of the day didn't show up.  I'm thankful the day is over.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better. If not and it's another day like today, I'll do my best to get through it.

Goodnight.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I was typing this, Lamar was sleeping on the sofa next to me.  He left the tv on the Arsenio show and the preachers from the Preachers of LA reality show were on.  They had a preach off and were to do 30 second sermons titled 'Life is Not a Reality Show.'  I stopped to listen and Deitrick Haddon spoke about life being reality but not a show.  Whatever things we are going through, God is powerful enough to carry us through.  He quoted Ephesians 3:20-21 and I cried.

Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen

I'm asking God to give me peace through this downswing.  He is able to exceedingly abundantly above that.  Thank you God for carrying me through.

Wedding Spot: Favorite Picture

 

I love me some him ^.^

This is one of the pictures from our engagement photo shoot at JCP.  I've started making our Save the Dates ^.^ I'll write more about them later on.  I just wanted to share this picture because it makes me smile whenever I look at it. :)

Hope you had a great Sunday!

Finally I'm Finished #2: Fraggle Rockin!

I've got a silent movie for you today :)  Lately, I've been wanting to make little videos and actually share them.  Last weekend, I made a simple square shaped hat with pompoms on the tips.  The yarn I used was thrifted from Goodwill.  It makes me feel really accomplished to totally create something from thrifted components.  I also made a pink/white hat in the same style using pink thrifted yarn and white yarn from my stash.  Enjoy my silly little video ^.^

Here is a picture of the pink/white version. I think I'm going to tweak the length of the hat because as it is now, the brim is super long.  After I take off like 3 inches, it should be perfect. 

I also bought one of those pom-pom makers from the craft store and made the ones on the pink hat.  The poms on the blue/green hat were made by wrapping yarn around my cell phone.  I like the finished look of the perfectly round poms, but I also like the quirkiness that the looser poms have.

 Which pom-pom do you prefer?

Recently Thrifted: Pretty Awesome Haul

Hey y'all :)

Remember, way back in the day, when I use to do "recently thrifted" posts???  Well, no one probably remembers that because I don't think I had any readers back then *shrug*.

Yesterday, I got a surprise day off.  Meaning I was at work and due to a bunch of cancellations I got sent home after an hour and a half.  I took the time to have an introverted (not talking to anyone I don't want to, listening to music, thrift store hopping, dog park sitting, evening napping) day.  It was GREATLY needed.

So now I want to show you what I thrifted in my adventures yesterday.  There were a couple pieces that I'm stupid excited about.  Aaaand... let's get going ^.^

I went to four thrift stores: Goodwill, The Christian Sharing Center, Super Dollar Thrift, & St. Vincent De Paul.

Goodwill: Cookbook $2.99 & Hardback $1.99

Goodwill: Paperbacks $0.99

Goodwill: Square photo frame $0.99

I'm glad I found a new cookbook because evidently there was some sort of house elf that stole the ones I had.  -_-  So now I'm looking for cookbooks with lots of dessert recipes since that's what I'm into cooking-wise.  The grey Bartlett's book is a collection of readings for weddings.  I'm hoping to find a few things to incorporate into our wedding.  The frame was a great find for me since one of the enhancements I make at JCP is a 10x10 collage and those frames are super hard to find.  Well unless you pay $18 for them in the studio... So $0.99 was pretty awesome ^.^

Christian Sharing Center: 18" Ruler $0.79  Circular Knitting Needles $0.99

These are the only things I picked up at the Christian Sharing Center. I resisted the urge to buy the few balls of yarn they had. :)  Whenever I see cheap craft supplies, like that ruler, I always pick them up because they are always handy.

Super Dollar Thrift: Merona Suede Loafers $2.99

I also bought a room lamp for $6 at Super Dollar.  I'm always excited to find shoes in my size (size 10 shoe problems) and these loafers are so cute and in great condition.

St. Vincent De Paul: Scarves $0.99 each

St. Vincent De Paul: Ann Taylor Blue Suede Loafers $3.99

The last stop was St. Vincent De Paul where I found these amazing pieces ^.^ I'm imagining these scarves with a huge twistout. I can't wait!

So yeah. These are the things I picked up yesterday during my surprise day off thriftaventure.  The cookbook will surely get some play this weekend as Lamar has planned a potluck for the young people at church.  Time for me to become the dessert girl again ^.^

Galavanting Files: Calamari Date Night

Saturday night, Lamar and I were suppose to go to a church social, but it was canceled at the last minute.  So with a night to ourselves, we decided to have a date night ^.^

First, we were going to get a bite to eat at burger king, but as we drove up we passed a little Italian restaurant.  Of course being the foodie explorers we are, we decided to eat there instead.  It turned out to be pretty good, except there were WAY too many options on the menu.  So we ended up getting a large cheese pizza and garlic rolls.  The pizza was on the salty side, but the garlic rolls were delicious!  We chatted about wedding type things as we ate.  It was a good meal. :)

After eating, we went to Congo River Golf for putt-putt and arcade games.  I love that Lamar and I can compete in things and the activity still stays fun.  I'm also glad that he doesn't make fun of me when I win something and swear to never do it again... I'm all about going out on top ^.^  Anyway, we made a video.  Enjoy!

WIP Wednesday: Look Ma, No Hook!

So a few days ago, I watched a video on youtube about arm knitting.  It was pretty cool, but of course as the non-knitter I am- I wanted to arm-crochet.  I've been brainstorming for a couple days to figure out how I would go about arm-crocheting, and I'm pleased to day I figured out a way!

I gave up trying to crochet the standard way and decided that working stitches in tunisian crochet would work.   I started off with 3 strands of worsted weight yarn and tried to crochet a foundation chain.

After struggling with the worsted weight yarn, I decided to raid my stash for some bulkier yarn to work with.

Success!  Basically I used my arm like a tunisian crochet hook and worked 5 tunisian simple stitches for this first crack at arm-crochet.  Since I'm new at tunisian crochet anyway, I'm pretty sure I messed up the stitches along the way, but it's not half bad for a first try.

I kept crocheting rows until what became a scarf was roughly 5 feet long.  The next time I try this again, I'll probably use something like t-shirt yarn or 6 strands of super bulky yarn together just to make a more solid piece.

It's light enough to be worn when ever fall gets around to making it's way down to Florida, and I really like the colors I was able to use.  It kinda reminds me of those skinny fashion scarves that were "in" a while ago... y'know??

Anywho,  here are some detail shots after I finished it off.

I suppose it has a lace-like quality to it since the spaces are so big... and I'm thinking about putting a fringe on it.  Haven't settled on that decision yet tho.

I'm so glad this idea didn't flop.  Maybe after more brainstorming, I can figure a way to arm-crochet in a way that isn't so messy looking.

Goodnight!

This is a What?: Jabba...

Hi :)

The subject of today's This is a What? post has been rolling around my head since I started the theme. (did that make sense??)  Anywho, I'm excited to show you the shots ^.^

Let's get crackin!

Please ignore the dot... It's a little piece of dust on my camera sensor that I'm happy to say is finally gone! Thanks, Google!

At first, I took a bunch of close angles, using focus to highlight different areas of the face.  But when I unfocused the whole image, it became a cool collection of tones.

This makes me want to get my sketchbook out and draw these... and just look at how the light interacts with the surface.

This is the shot that gave me the post title: Jabba.  It reminds me of the masks that the Jabbawockeez wear. (If you haven't seen them dance... youtube them. Now. Go ahead ^.^ I'll wait.)

And here is the actual subject.  It's the styrofoam head I put crochet hats and whatnot on.  As you can see she suffered a bit of trauma during the move to Florida, but no biggie. :)

This week's TIAW was fun to shoot.  I liked using completely blurred photos.  Maybe I'll carry that on next week and possibly find something more colorful to study.  I hope you had a good Tuesday.

Peace & goodnight!

Wedding Spot: Bridal Show

Hey there!

A few Sundays ago, Sheree and I went to one of the Central Florida wedding shows. It was a good size show and there were a lot of vendors I hadn't met previously. Needless to say, we had a ball!

Sheree is so very much extroverted and participated in nearly every game during the fashion show! AND.......... she won a dance contest (which I recorded, but she told me I am NOT allowed to post -_-) and got a free stay at the hotel as her winnings! Pretty cool. She also caught a bouquet and a garter towards the end of the show, which was cool too.

After the fashion show, we walked around to check out the rest of the vendors, tasted some YUMMY cake from a few different bakeries, and chatted with the DJ. The last booth we went to was a photographer and she was having a raffle. While I was filling out the information sheet, the lady asked me if I won anything. I told her I hadn't and Sheree had all the winner's luck :) Then the most awesome thing happened! She pulls out a folder and said the person who was suppose to win a prize from her booth never came. So she gave it to me!! It was a voucher for a free outdoor photo session and an 8x10 print. How cool is that!? I was mostly excited because Lamar really wants to do an outdoor shoot. So I suppose we'll find out how much more prints would be. (Hopefully not an arm and a leg.)

 Goodnight :)

Wedding Spot: Bridesmaid Dresses

Wedding stuff!!! Huzzah! lol ^.^

Last Sunday, I went to David's Bridal with my Maid of Honor and one of my Bridesmaids to have a look at a couple dress options for them.  Originally, I had two satin dresses picked out, but decided that I didn't like how they looked next to my dress.  So back to the drawing board I went.  The next option was to check out the chiffon ones.  Let me say, I really liked the feeling I got from them as opposed to the structured satin.  I think the chiffon was more of my personality... if that makes any sense at all. *shrug*

Anywho, we took to the racks at DB and found the dress choice for my Matron and Maid of honor pretty easily, but the bridesmaid dress took a bit more time.  Once we found the style number, I pulled it off the bar only to discover it had some sorta frilly... ruffled... jellyfish-esque detail down the back. Umm... what?!? To be honest, it looked pretty trash on the hanger, but we saw it on a mannequin and it looked ok so we kept it to try on.  Since the maids' dress was iffy, we took some time to find another option.  Then it was on to the dressing rooms!

The light blue dress is the Matron/Maid of Honor dress and the darker dress is option 1 for the bridesmaids.  See the jellyfishy ruffle?!?  Imagine my surprise when we pulled that off the rail...

Here is the MOH dress with the option 2 dress.  This was the dress we found in the store that day.  I'm pretty sure that these are the dresses we'll be going with. ^.^

After fiddling around with the pictures on pixlr.com, I changed the hue on them so I could see the dresses in what would be the wedding color.  Don't mind the purple skin ^.^

They look nice in the green :)  I really like that I feel good when I look at the dresses. Like I'm getting stuff done and making decisions. ::fist pump::

Wish me luck and focus as I continue this wedding planning adventure. Thanks!